Mirror Universe: Bloomberg Shortens Dodger Dogs

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PR-55-88
June 19, 2013

MAYOR BLOOMBERG ANNOUNCES RESTRICTIONS ON THE LENGTH OF BROOKLYN DODGER DOGS AT NEW EBBETS FIELD.

Restrictions begin today as part of the Mayor's public campaign against obesity. The famous Dodger Dogs will be limited in length to six inches.

New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced this morning new restrictions on the length of Dodger Dogs at Brooklyn's New Ebbets Field as part of his ongoing efforts to improve public health. The restrictions have the full support of the New York Yankees, whose bun-length hot dogs are already in compliance. The New York Giants are not affected because food sales have been
banned at the Polo Grounds due to repeated health code violations.

"It's a great day for Brooklynites to dodge the subways and come out to enjoy a reasonably lengthy hot dog and a 16 ounce soda at beautiful New Ebbets Field," said Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. "The old Dodger Dog was ten inches long, an outrageous size with an outrageous cost of life and tax dollars. It is my responsibility to protect the citizens of New York from unreasonable and excessive frankfurters."

The new six-inch length limit is in addition to the established restrictions Mayor Bloomberg put on grilling Dodger Dogs, serving them in unhealthy buns or with more than two vegan-only toppings.

"Finally, Dodger fans can enjoy a steamed, six-inch hot dog that fits perfectly into a whole grain, gluten-free bun," said Mayor Bloomberg. "The thought of a 10-inch frankfurter covered with little pieces of the grill, stuffed into a spongy white bun and smothered with other meats and/or cheeses just seems icky to me now."
Old Dodger Dog

New Dodger Dogs

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