Die Dinger, Die

Dinger the Dinosaur? A dippy little mascot for a dippy little organization. I'm annoyed by the prehistoric balls this guy has for pulling this crap game after game:

There he is, lurking behind home plate in the 9th inning of last night's Dodgers-Rockies game at Coors Field. He usually shows up in the later innings and usually only when the visiting team is
pitching. Last night, he appeared in the bottom of the 8th, disappeared for the top of the 9th but came back for the final three outs.

Think about that. He only shows up when the visiting team is pitching. He'll stand up, do a little dance or mimic, sit down, throw his hands in the thin air like he doesn't care and generally go out of his way to express emotion after each pitch.

A marketing team feels this is cute.
I can't even begin to imagine what kind of self-centered jerkoff it takes to don a suit looking like that and think this behavior is cute, endearing or anything but another reason to consider the Rockies organization to be second rate.

I'm sure if any visiting pitcher had an issue with Dinger, he would have gone extinct behind the plate a long time ago. I'm not annoyed on behalf of the Los Angeles Dodgers or any other team, I'm annoyed on behalf of the much larger TV audience distracted by a dipshit trying to steal the show.

Fun facts about Dinger the Dinosaur:

  • Todd Helton knew a bunch of dinosaurs growing up, and says Dinger is anatomically correct.
  • When Juan Uribe was with the Rockies, he and a full-costumed Dinger would hit Denver strip clubs together.
  • Pedro Astacio still owes him $20 and a spool of replacement weed eater string.
  • Has a better throwing arm than Juan Pierre. They still work out together in the offseason.
  • Used to spend middle innings scouting chicks for Jim Tracy, based on a list of physical attributes Tracy listed personally. Top of the list? Sexy knees.

The title of this blog is German for "The Dinger, The."

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