On Hot Dogs, G-Strings and the Roster's Rear End

I'm restless, thanks to these ever-evolving MLB playoff schedules. It's as insufferable as the two weeks before the Super Bowl. The hype, second-guessing, analysis, over-analysis, fear and confidence all churn relentlessly with each minute in an eternal pregame show across four nights and three days.

So, here's something very important to add to the conversation. I have a scouting report on the food at Turner Field.

Allow me to introduce you to the Georgia Dog. It's a jumbo grilled hot dog smothered in cole slaw and Vidalia onion relish. It is a glorious hot dog and it deserves your respect and admiration.

The Georgia Dog
If you respect nothing else in Atlanta, respect this dog. Cole slaw is a condiment, not a side dish. It is to be used to provide a tarty crunch to any sandwich. The sweet onion relish simply keeps the slaw
from running away with the dog.

I recommend it as is. A thin line of mustard works. If you use ketchup, I make no promises on what will happen. I would also recommend the crepes on the club level. Laugh all you want.

For entertainment, Atlanta has more than a few options. After the game, you can go to a strip club, topless bar, gentlemen's club or a topless dancing lounge. Those are your several options before going to the Waffle House.

Turner Field is a place where magical things can happen for the Dodgers. I'm serious. I actually saw 45-year-old Jesse Orosco come on for the save in a 16-inning win for the Dodgers in 2002. If that's not magical, I don't know what is.

Definitely not magical.
Not going to point out that it happened because he didn't run out a play.
Jon SooHoo

We already know the vast majority of the roster and the pitching rotation has been set at Kershaw-Greinke-Ryu-Nolasco. With Kemp gone and Ethier an unlikely starter, my hopeful playoff roster from over the weekend needs a little updating.

There's more of a case for Jerry Hairston, since Skip Schumaker will be tied up in center field for the time being. Although he's not particularly handy with the glove, Hairston can play multiple positions in the infield and outfield. That'll have to work at this point.

I still think there's room for Scott Van Slyke. He's a legitimate home run threat off the bench. He's of no use defensively other than to hang around for another at-bat.

There shouldn't be any room for Dee Gordon. This idea of a speed guy off the bench is overblown and would only feed the madness that is Don Mattingly with his substitutions and double switches. There are many reasons why Dee wasn't on the active roster for the majority of the season, even when the disabled list was filling up.

As far as pitchers go, the Dodgers have dropped hints about Edinson Volquez or Chris Capuano hanging around for the playoffs, with Cappy getting attention as a possible third lefty out of the bullpen.

Volquez just doesn't do it for me. He's not going to start, so I'm not a fan of just throwing him into the bullpen. There are already guys in the pen who have adjusted to middle inning and mop-up roles, like Brandon League and Carlos Marmol.

In the end, if the Dodgers have two or three open roster spots, I hope they're choosing from the pool of Hairston, Van Slyke, Capuano, Marmol and League.

#####

September Player of the Month Juan Uribe.
Once banished to the dugout, he has conquered his foes and many empanadas to claim this reward.
Jon SooHoo

No comments:

Post a Comment