Silencing the Snakes in Dirt Poor Australia

Courtesies have been shown, polite handshakes have been given, beaming smiles delivered on demand for flashbulbs, and we got a picture of Vin Scully with a koala for our trouble. Australia is over, the Dodgers are 2-0 and they're going domestic for the next 160.


It's nice to get two wins early against the Whinybacks. They're a team obsessed with informing the world of their outrages, run by a GM who pointlessly ponders aloud for attention. Even Master Grit Sergeant Kirk Gibson squawks the company line against the Dodgers.

But hey, it's only two games and they were played on an outdoor bowling alley covered in crab grass and dirt imported from Southern California.

That's true, by the way. They imported the diamond dirt from Southern California. Australia has one of the highest standards of living in the world, but they ain't got dirt.

It's going to be nice looking at the standings for the next week and seeing the same two things every single day. Dodgers 2-0, Diamondbacks 0-2. It's baseball with a nasty NFL scheduling twist. Instead of getting the chance to play a game the next day and forget it, the Whinybacks will have to wait more than a week.

But yeah, I know, it's only two games, they were played after a 15-hour timewarp flight and because everything was so jacked up Adrian Gonzalez will lead the league in stolen bases for more than a week.

Dee Gordon is threatening to become a one-and-a-half tool player. He's always had speed. That's one tool. He's showing promise, albeit again, with the bat, so we'll give him a half-tool for the progress.

But he can't play 2B, right now, at a Major League level. Other than the obvious error, he tried to cover the bag on a double play opportunity but may have gotten in the way. On a double play that was turned later, I thought he wandered too close to the bag while Hanley was keeping it for the 6-3 Furcal special.

"In a world where second basemen get in the way... one man must stand for justice... and the double play."
Dodgers / Jon SooHoo
But yeah, I know, it's only two games and in one of them, both teams were wearing white pants but the team wearing white jerseys was the visiting team.

2014 has begun and the Dodgers are off to a good start. Cricket has been defeated on its home pitch. Long live baseball.

Now, take a week off before you play another game that counts.

Ludicrous.

You're in charge of one thing, Seth. Get the rosin bags home safely.
Dodgers / Jon SooHoo

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